Filing for divorce is one of the most confusing, painful decisions that can occur in your life. It is so important from the very beginning, after the filing of the action, to give yourself permission to really feel your feelings, whatever they may be, and to give yourself time and space to engage in behavior that will lead to a happier outcome for you down the road.
So, when you feel like crying inconsolably, let yourself really belt out a good cry in a safe place, either alone, or with a supportive friend or therapist, and leave any judgmental people out of it. Just make sure you are away from the kids, so they don’t feel the need to try to console you (it is not their burden and they will be feeling their own grief).
If you feel like letting loose for a change, go for it. If this involves a night out on the town, again, surround yourself with those who love and support you, most. AND, be safe and hire an Uber!
Too depressed to get out of bed and crave a few days alone watching movies? GO FOR IT! Do not beat yourself up for needing some creature comforts that can help you process your pain, while allowing you to tune out a bit. Just don’t turn your stay-cation into a month-long reality, where you potentially stop taking showers and forget to pick up your kids from school. There still needs to be some balance.
Be kind to yourself! The above ideas are meant to silence the “dragon lady” lurking inside you for a while, so you can accept that you need a bit of extra room to be indulgent with yourself, while you grieve. So, don’t beat yourself up if you party like its 1999 with your old besties one night or down a whole chocolate cake. In an odd way, these escapades, if engaged in sparingly, will help you feel human and get you back on track.
You can do this! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Your soul is talking to you, so turn off the broken record, that makes you feel bad about yourself, being played over and over again inside your head by that “dragon lady.” It’s just noise. Your soul has the words.